Aleena Is A Retard XD

BUT

 I finally listened to Paramore's new album

umm...

Yesterday? Yeah, yesterday =]

courtesy of my IT teacher blasting it from speakers XD ahah ty Miss,

but im really getting into it, which is good..

because all ive been listening to for like..the past...AGES

is r&b which tbh gets really boring.

oh and Julia nunes obvs.

the girl with the Ukelele, ahaha awsomes =]

ANYWAYS

i had well i guess they're 'Finals' all this week and i've got another exam

tommorow (Friday) and then next week

AND THEN ITS XMAS HOLIDAYS

WOOOOOOOOOO! =]

i dont blog on here enough

yeah..

Sahhry :P

x

so i'll just go ahead right now and tell you

-I AM STRESSED.

not too stressed but still =/

I think most of it's because i've been sitting cross-legged for the past 40945832047529487523 decades.

The other cause ofc would be because I have my Re-takes coming up ><

I'm retaking a maths module to do the higher tier and hopefully get a B or over (last time I did the foundation tier- not willingly, where the highest mark you can get is a C and got 107/112 -_- in otherwords a high C which means i probably only got a few questions wrong on the paper- to be fair the first question was addition no joke.),
it's not just a test though, this module is called "Module 3" and is worth 27% of my GCSE and the module before this was "Module 1" which i got a strong B in but it was only worth 18%. SO i'm re taking module 3 and i'm dying trying to reviseeee ><
MY RE-TAKE IS ON THE 13TH. =[
i've been revising once a week since september, and have only started revising more ehh...religiously since well...friday ><
BUT ITS A GOOD THING MY MEMORY (WHEN DOING MATHS) IS GOOD. =D well thats what i keep telling myself =/.

andddd i'm retaking year 10 chemistry, it's so easy honestly,[again- what i keep telling myself, though i am acctually quite confident] mehh my chemistry exam's on the 19th- i'll start worrying about it after maths, gives me a week to revise so yeah =D

so im not as worried as i will be for my actual exams mainly because if i fuck these up, they'll take my previous marks- which weren't BAD, but i just thought i could improve.. seeing as im failing most subjects>< 

 

ahaha and i'm soz if this makes no sense to you- it probably won't if you don't live in the UK or  don't do GCSE's or O Levels, or that other shit that they do in private skls XD

 

/pointless ramble

 

Yup. Moi.

Who was your last kiss?
Noo oneee ><

Have you ever vomited at school?
Ehhh..No. i'd die of embarrasment

Will you have sex tonight?
Yeah i have a hot date with you mum

How old is your ex or current girlfriend/ boyfriend?
My age.

If your best friend was kicked out, would your parents let him/her live with you?
Nt sure tbh, if she was homeless then yeah -but kicked out? dnt think so.

Are you comfortable answering all these personal questions?
It's buzznet idc really :P

Are there any relationships you wish could have lasted longer?
Nooo.

What was the first thing you said when you woke up today?
i didnt say anthing, but my face probably looked like this ---> -__-

Who makes you happy?
A few people :)

Who was the last person to text you?
i dunno, Cyrus probably, or Noor

Do you regret doing something today?
Sitting down on this bed at this angle. My arse is now numb -_-

Are you open about your feelings or closed off?
depends what it is im talking about and who to, but im usually open- maybe not always 100% truthful but it depends who im talking to. The parents? LIELIELIELIELIE ahaha

Held hands with anyone today?
Dnt think so- not unless i was dragging someone, but i got a lot of hugs :)

Have you kicked anybody today?
No, my toe's been killing all day :(

Who is in your house?
Ma mere, pere et moi.

Is there someone you don't ever want to be out of your life?
quite a few,

Were you happy when you woke up today?
Name me ONE person who likes getting out of a warm duvet and into the cold at 8 in the morning [which btw is just abotu enough time for me to put on my clothe brush my teeth/wash my face..do my hair slightly and leg it to school XD]

What's on your schedule for tomorrow?
Fuck all...school, maths revision + home =]

Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?
No acctually =/ hmm

What exactly are you wearing now?

ahaha my awsome new clothes =] LOL , i shall describe :)

Grey/black leggings, white vest with a cut out butterfly netting back thing, and an over-sized worn out purpley jumper thing off the shoulder ahahaha

i am a LOOSER. i literally got home, and wore my new clothes XD

This time last year, who did you have feelings for?
urm.. no one =/ how sad.

Do you have an attic?
Uhm yeahhh,  it's filled with all these wierd fucking boxes of old shit. <-- my lovely attic.

What was the last song you sang out loud to?
...Time is running out- Muse? i probably didn't really sing though

Do you remember names or faces better?
Faces, deffo.

Have you ever been in a tornado or hurricane?
no >< fucking boring.

Do you have any bookmarks in your internet browser? If so, how many?
Goddd yeah many many pointless links to Fanfic and River island =D and Ebay, and buzznet, and fb, and twitter, and and and and and...

Have you ever seen any movie version of Romeo and Juliet?

If you're in a competition, are you in it to win it or just for the fun?
arghh no, i never take shit srsly XD

Have you ever had braces?
Yeah, I had them for a whileee- not that you can tell now, my bottom row is crooked >< I DONT LIKE RETAINERS. KAY??

Is there a TV show right now that you just can't miss an episode of?
I get addicted to tv so fucking easily. so many..soooo many XD

Do you usually go to sleep before or after the people you're living with?
after, i dont like sleeping when they can see me/ when they're up unless i HAVE to

Have you ever watched the show How I Met Your Mother?
omg every episode so far :f

Has anything happened to you in the past month that's made you sad?
yhh. =/

noww that i kinda think about it, Baz Luhrmann's  remake was rather wierd.. but i still looooove it ;) ONLY really because i got an A in english for analysing (and taking the piss out of ) the other remake by Zefferelli.. >< im not a nerd. i swear. XD

How often do you listen to music?
Allll the time

Are you a patient person?
It depends who it is I'm dealing with.

Do you have a favorite song?

dont have one atm

How often do you sleep in?
Whenever I can. oh yeah.

Do you like being in pictures?
nt really no.

You receive $50 without any reason, what do you spend it on?
you do realise, $50 is like £20- £25 i'd probs end up spending it on like something pathetic, yes. now you know why i'm always broke XD

When is your birthday?
July 27th 1994 Ohh yeah :)

Have you ever highlighted your hair?
Oh god yeah >< eww.

Does someone like you right now?
Probs not.

Have you told anybody you loved them today?
Uh,i think so, Amika..probs Ria urmm...a few people acc:) i use the word freely..just not in relationships XD

What's your opinion on pot?
I'd give it a try, but if Pot's the same thing as Ganja (LOL at me acc using ganja- the word i mean) then i'd give it a try in the future, but i dont see any point in that shit at this age.

What are your plans for the weekend?
to go shopping, and to hopefully excercise/ do some coursework- or some revsion. Yeah my life is so damn interesting

Is your current hair color mostly your natural hair color?
It acc is!! it took me like more than a year to grow it out, but i still have ginger bits at the ends ><

Who did you last hug today?
Uhmm...Dima? or amika?..Or Cyrus?

Do you want to see somebody right now?
Does Jace - shirtles with wings, count? yes yes he's fictional..shuup =/

Think back to the last guy you held hands with, would you kiss them?
i held hands with NO ONE -_-  stop provoking meee

Do you know anyone that smokes pot?
I know a few people who have smoked pot, and who will, but i dont know if anyones doing it right now =/ and idc really.

Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed?
a car? or someshit

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
My mum -_-

How many arguments have you had with the last person you kissed?
i havent kissed anyone in HOW long, not on the lips anyways XD

What's the last compliment you received?
today was the day we got our student ID card picture things, so quiteeeee a few..

The person you HAVE the strongest feelings for dies, do you care?
why ask, when you know the answer? there isnt anyone i "have the strongest feelings for" and no, Jace doesnt count -_-

Have you ever slept in the same bed as your friends?
Well  what d'ya want me to do, buy a new fucking bed when ever i have sleepovers? how bout you buy me one. XD

(btw, im not too bothered on punctuation and spelling, i'l correct what i have to in order to make sense- not bothered with the rest.)

 so if you dont want to read this whole thing, ill just say between me leaving and then coming back to buzznet i've grown up, gotten new obsessions and then come back realising i left something really fucking awsome.

this is going to be one of those 'Where the fuck have you been for the past year and whatnot'

urm..yeah. Fail.

truth is, i kinda grew out of buzznet. im not sure Why i guess I thought i'd made friends, and that finally i was accepted, and i guess it's half true. i kept on putting off signing back into buzznet cos im lazy, but here i am..

1) i guess i should say that by 'accepted' i dont mean 'accepted' like as if i went to an american high school and had my own little clique (Anyone seen Mean Girls?) and then suddenly became accepted by the whole year. because it's not really like that in English schools, i cant really speak for schools other than my own shithole of a school but w/e. everyone has their own little friendship groups, and friends in other forms and whatnot its all vair free. its also extremely bitchy and fucked up- but yeah its better than exclusive cliques and bitchy queen bees...But oh how i love mean girls :) best movie ever (a movie i havent watched in over like 2 years, but STILL know most words to- yeah i dont have too much free time or anything. Because atm, i float between many weird-but loveable people and i know im their friend and that they're mine, but i still don't feel accepted.... and this is my last year in school before 6th form (YESSSS!!!!!) as much as you'd love me to explain english schools and whatnot, im not bothered- but i'd be a Sophmore if i went to american school . anways- and ive realised that buzznet was awsome, and that i met amazing people + friends here =] friends that tbh are more reliable than some of the ones i have irl,

so this is gonna be hard to believe because i pretty much rambled and complained my whole way through this- but i dont complain as much anymore. im okayish with my parents, in the way that ive accepted them for the way they are and have stopped comparing them to other people.

-But they still annoy the living fucking shit out of me, and i'm moving out when im 18 :).

another thing, im not obsessed with becoming thin anymore because ive accepted the fact that i am a complete failure when it comed to that. but im sure ill get into another one of those phases. And pretty much since before i left buzznet until now, i have an obsession with makeup =S im not vain, but makeup is awsome. ive never been able to draw on paper, but drawing on your face is completely different, its fun i like seeing myself + other people just kinda transform its awsome:) and has kinda sorta improved my confidence (as in, even without any makeup i feel okay about my face :) my body- urm yes lets not go there.) and i guess tbh im just much more a happier person, am less frustrated-

 andddd well no last ones a lie. im still frustrated. haha. =]

well... its 2 in the morning, and im fucking bored outta my mind, so imma stop here.

 

 

 

anddd

 

Ahm at my aunts house and their REALLY nice to me
staying here fr like...few weeks
damn this keybord -_-
LOL anyway



omg.
theyre trying to feed e so much
my aunty thinks i dont eat
DAMN WOMAN CAN YOU SEE MY LEGS?
I WEAR SIZE FRICKEN 10 FOR FUCK SAKE
I AINT SKINNY.
ahm short & fat.
ohhmygod. THEY DONT HVE ANY SCALES
0___0
but yes i came on here to see how many calories id be injesting for "lunch"

you wouldnt acc belive me if i told you THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY
thats like..my whole day's allowance
im going off to cry now :(


Omg this COMPUTER
GRRR TINY KEYBOARDS >.<


btw wen i get bck home, few more chapters of urm thefic i write (memory loss- forgot the name :P)
well atleast ive got two weeks away from the 'rents :P
xxx

JESUS CHRIST.

THATS GENA?

SRSLY.

 

 

mmkay- imma stop being all 0___0 and tell you wtf is going on.

Ahem

-you know the girl who dances with zacky in afterlife

I DINT KNOW IT WAS GENA 0___0

Wow. im slow XD

xxxx

Please Erase My Dreams]]

 

Two

He let his eyes roam through the somewhat letterbox shape over his face. He could see himself directly opposite where his mind was- which confused him thoroughly. His hair shining in the small yet slightly tainted light that was provided by the dimming light bulbs above, his eyes glistening, and his lips smooth and soft- he wanted nothing more than to take himself hostage and do whatever he pleased- his thoughts alarmed him and he eventually came to the conclusion that he was dead- the truth however was that in his condition, he was delusional.

 

He surveyed his situation from where he was- inside a strange small sickly green room he couldn’t remember. He let his mind run free as his limbs definitely couldn’t- for reasons he didn’t know, and as he thought more he realised he couldn’t move at all- he started to panic.

Beeping-strange crescendos alien to his ears. The man who he thought was himself stood up alarmed from where he was almost folded in half on a small white chair. He thought to himself- through his panic, maybe; he was dying not dead. Though his face wasn’t visible through the many layers of gauze covering his body- he blushed. He could see his face fully now, prominent cheek bones and a jaw line, running out of the room disappearing from Zack’s eye line.

When the man returned in the room, it seemed to light up. Four other men and two women followed in after them. The way he walked intimidated him slightly- but it soon passed, the tallest one he seemed to recognise- and the more he thought, the more he realised he recognised them all vaguely. All except for the one he longed to look at the most.

 

He looked away from the attractive one and focused on the others, the tallest yet most small framed had large brown eyes rimmed with a powdery black substance- eye shadow he thought to himself. They were all whispering quietly now, huddled in a circle of chairs. The only other person he could make out was a small tanned girl- Innocent faced, gleams of silver attached to her skin, her hair long and hanging down in reckless waves of black and red, over her olive green shirt. She was sitting casually on the tall man’s legs, his arms entwined around her waist, occasionally he would bite her, or kiss her- he couldn’t keep still, and she was struggling holding back her laughter.

 

Zack’s heart seemed to ache, neither for the girl- nor the taller man. He was sure of that. It just seemed to ache, the aura of love in the room choked him and he glanced around the room once more- ignoring the chest pains trying to listen in on the conversation.

”He looks in pain- you can see by his eyes” A short boy clad in black- all except his hair- a short-fanned Mohawk. He failed to whisper- but they failed to notice. He wondered to himself who they were talking about.

”His eyes are open?” A different lady replied-her bubblegum coloured lips left in a slight pout. She was taller than the other girl yet still fairly petite. Her bright blonde hair ridden off all it’s natural flicks and her fringe pulled back from her face with a few clips- showing off the creamy smooth texture of her face, her makeup though fairly gentle-brought out her hazel eyes. Her light brown eyebrows framed her slightly tanned face, her head resting lightly on the shoulder of a rather muscular man, his arms donned with artwork and his head severely lacking hair- but it looked like he meant it to be that way.

 

”Fucking cunt” Zack felt himself shiver, as the one he thought was himself moved out of his chair and out of the room, the others were either stilled in their chairs with mouths wide with shock- or glaring at the short man- who was confused by all.

”Fuck the what?” The short man asked, slightly dazed, the muscular man made a small noise at the back of his throat- voicing his disgust in the shorter man.

The muscular man leant forward and pinched the bridge of his nose;

 

“Jonathan fucking Seward, I will kill you myself if you ever do this again. If his eyes opened- if he grunted, if anything happened that meant he was awake. Anything like that happened while doctors weren’t there we were meant to tell them, what is wrong with you? You know how on edge Brian is- it’s been fucking MONTHS! MONTHS JOHNNY SINCE WE’VE HAD OUR GUITARISTS ONE’S IN THE FUCKING ICU AND THE OTHER ONE WON’T FUNCTION.” As his voice began to raise, the muscular man stood up and looked ready to throttle the shorter man, who stood up and cracked his knuckles standing within a centimetre of the other man- making another shiver run down Zack’s spine- in a completely different way.

And as if the timing was rehearsed, the attractive man walked back with people clad in white dresses or oversized coats.

 

“Good Morning Mr Baker- we know you’re awake, now everything should come back to you in forty-eight hours if it hasn’t already- you cannot move or speak at the moment due to the gauze around your body, it will be immensely painful while my colleagues and I remove it, we are happy to say that your skin wasn’t actually effected by your suicide attempt”

 

But Zack wasn’t paying attention to the doctor, the nurses, or any of their false accusations. And as the anaesthetic in his veins got to work, the image his eyes were focused on was the man holding Zack’s right hand with his left hand, telling him it would be alright with tears in his soft brown eyes and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

 

 

Ahm rushing- havent spell checked etc

And im really really sorry about the delay...yeah..sorry x

 So by now you should of figured out most of this shit am i right?

:D Comments would be nice

xxxx

 

 

 

Blood clots

at 14 years of age- i've got bloodclots

tbh i wasnt that surprised, i've always had medical/blood issues

but, my blood being too thick?

first off, it used to never be enough

jesus couldn't Karma pick a more likely thing for me to get >.<

Idiots.

Blood test on monday- again

AND I HAVE TO GO THERE GINGER :( which is by far the worst out of everything in my life.

-_-

xxxx

 

1)Once you've read it over once, re- read the beginning, you'll understand it more

2) Vee not only is this dedicated to you- but i promise i'll acctually continue this

3) Guess which A7x song the title's from, and i'll give you a cookie/part in this.

---

Please Erase My Dreams]]

 

One

 

He was soaring; flying higher than any birds in the sky- up and over anyone else. Birds are pretty; they have nice, soft feathers- he thought.

 

He could smell toast, a bit burnt this time, it seemed that it was stuck to his hand- his whole body. So he bit down but it wouldn’t tear off, so he bit harder- it tasted like metal- he liked it, the toast seemed to turn into a liquid- he wanted more- he couldn’t get enough, his whole body shook but he couldn’t get enough of the burnt liquid.

 

He could hear someone, no more than one person- but their music made him tired more tired than he had ever been- so he closed his eyes.

****

He left the studio that day- early; they’d finished the album and thought they ought to celebrate- he thought, why not? He drove home early- excited to share the news.

 

He saw a blue van parked in the driveway thought it was vaguely familiar- he thought not much of it, probably one of her friends; she was always on her phone these days anyway.

 

Maybe she got a lift home from one of her friends? Maybe they were staying over for a bit? He smiled; it was a celebration after all, wasn’t it? The more the merrier-right? Wrong.

 

He opened the door; no sign of the dog- Gena or her friend. Completely silent- so he thought.

 

He walked up the grand staircase, sorting out the mail as he walked. Heating Bill.  Electricity Bill. Water Bill. He gave up- left the mail at the top of the staircase- and stopped in his tracks. He could hear something…

 

If a tree falls down in the forest, and no one hears it- does it still make a sound?

 

 

Thieves. Murderers. Vampires

He laughed at the last one- he shouldn’t let his mind wander- It was probably the dog anyway. He walked up to his bedroom door his hand inches away from the door- he paused. No the noise wasn’t his imagination- he could hear it more clearly now, tapping- no, thumping.

 

If his life was a movie- he was sure he’d be the main character- if not him, then Brian, for what reason he wasn’t sure but he was always at Brian’s anyway. He dismissed the thought. What he knew now, though- was that he would be willing to give anything- anything at all to lie in bed that night and think nothing of the day he’d had.

 

He opened the door and for a few blissful moments truly thought that he was blinded- that his mind was playing tricks on him- oh how he wished it were true.

 

He felt his eyes tear up and the scene unfolded before him, he couldn’t move- he didn’t know how to blink- all he could do was watch. They didn’t even know he had arrived.

 

Because there she was, Gena-in all her blonde haired glory. Under the mailman.

 

And suddenly, his lips moved- releasing a small sound from his throat- similar to a whisper that seemed foreign to his own ears, but they seemed to understand it fine.

 

He suddenly felt as if he were the actor to his own body- no longer the director, he watched himself move out of the bedroom leaving his crying fiancée. He watched his hands grasp the bottle of jack on the kitchen table, half drunk with the lid long forgotten. He saw a blur of blonde and silk almost fly down the stairs- but his mind soon blocked the object or person out. He walked out of the door, down the steps and into his front garden, the grass soft and innocent beneath his feet.

 

He went back to watching himself; he saw the alcohol being poured slowly onto himself and the smell seemed to drift up his nostrils, soothing him even more so than he already was. He saw a small blue object being dropped onto himself; he saw flames emit from where the object dropped. He felt the warmth spread through him. Good- he thought. I was cold anyway.

 

DUDE

DUDE

DUDE

AMIKA'S PRESENT

TO ME

IS

JUST

SO AWSOMES

XD

ITS IN HER STYLE TOO

OMFGGGGG I CANT BELIVE MUM HID THIS FROM ME

JESUS CHRIST- FUCK ME (LOL EXORCIST QUOTE)

BUT STILL

ITS SO SO SO SAMAZING

AND I CANT EVEN REACH HER HER DAMN FONES ENGAGED!

Aleena<3

1)Stop Being an Ungreatful Little Fucking Alcoholic Whore

2) GROW about 4 inches

3) Lose about 24 lbs/ Stomach needs to stop sticking out

4) Stop Complaining (Openly)

5) Concentrate more on Bass

6) Re-Dye Hair (Yet Again)

7) Stop Loosing Friends (SEIROUSLY)

8) Get into a Band (mabey)

9) Be Nice to 'rents (Will be Hard)

10) Stop Ranting/complaining

11) Drowing Sorrows in Liquor= Bad

12) Become EVEN MORE Open Minded in Music Taste.

13) Get Year Ten Uniform :)

14) Walk. Everwhere,

15) 3 Meals a Day- No More.

16) Stop Sobbing On A7x Poster- Tis Dying.

17) Write more ya lazy bitch

18) Learn to not Hate me So Much (Sorta-Kinda)

:)

lots of shit to do over the next 6 weeks eehh? obvs im only gonna get round to about...five XDXD but w/e

First Rule & 11th do NOT apply until after sunday XD

Aleena<3

 

Omg party

was AWSOMES

omg.. XD  Joe

we pulled- like 3 times,

im sorry but

one word: Slimy

XD i prefer normal kisses :P

 

Hokay so i looked like SHIT but at Georgia's when we were gettin redy i was alright looking

..i supoose XD

lols well anyways, me and joe Kissed right? AND well he was tryina pull me AND I FROZE 0____0

urrrrrrrg

LOLS and you know, baisicly

Molly already was drunk before we came (lucky)

and yeahhs, she went to the toilet and she came back and she coudlnt do her shorts up proply cos her belly button bar thingy kept on gettin in the way, and so yeahh JORDAN DID IT FOR HER ANDIWAS LIKE PMSL XD (jordan is a girl)

OH and i got really hyper

and i grinded with like

everyone XD

no not everyone

Me and jordan ALMOST kissed, ( WE GET HYPER)

we're both straight though :)

yeahhs so anyways,

OMG LMFAO,

i grinded with Jennings (Rebecca Jennigningngngngs XD, as this nerd/ whos a mormon/ who doesnt like..do anything ever) and so yeah LIZZI WENT UP AND GRINDED WITH HER AND I WAS LIKE XD LMFAO and so i go to joe,

"Oi, watch this XD" and i let go of him and i go GRIND ON JENNIGS

and iwas DYING LAUGHING

OMG

SO SO SO FUNNY XD

and baisicly, yah

Finola tried a fag (her first time) and i was like 0___0 "FINOLA, NOOOOO! THEY MIGHT HAVE DOPE IN THERE" and i was like going crazy and then Lizzi was like "OMG, THEYVE GOT DOPE 0___0 :D" AND I WAS LIKE -_-.

yahh... :P

Me, Finola (Finny) & Georgia(George)

 

mmhmm and urm yeah more pics :) (these were off my fone, so they probly suck)

and im sorry but i looked like SHIT

my hair puffed up and eveything

and well you know its me obvs because im the pic above XD but yeah

ive edited this becayse well ME= SHIT Joe= Hot :)

awww he straightened his hair aswell :)

but yeah UGLY ME. HATE ME

uggghhhh

well you cant deny how shit i look,

but you KNOW i dont look that shit usually i mean, just- you know i dont look that shit..dont you?

 

mmkay so Jordan Was Grindin with Danielle

(I JUST HAD TO TAKE A PIC OKAY? IT WAS JOKES XD)

Left to Right: Jordan- Danielle :)

Molly's Fishnets/Belly button thing kept on getting in the way and she cudnt do her hot pants/shorts up XD SO jordan did XD ahaha was jokes,

 

:)

 

overall twas an amazing night

i WILL get a decent pic of me and joe

i promise :)

Aleena<3

Ill elaborate once ive had a shower :)

oh gawd, tis too good to be TRUE :D

Aleena<3

I HAVE HAD THE BEST WEEKEND

(Not Ever, becasue i DO hope to top it eventually)

Starting from

FRIDAY :D

(because im cool like that) so.

Friday: Sports day, boring but fun :) but annoying cos Miss Miller was all like "Blah blah blah i like to finger Mrs Foster- your not wearing School uniform, ill send you home unless you find a school jumper to wear" AND I WAS LIKE -____- SO FUCKING WHAT i bloody left ma damn PE kit in my locker and i forogt that you have to wear normal uniform if your not doin any sports events stuffs, so i wore a t shirt, black shorts,  black tights a hoodie and a scarf! ( i swaped my hoodie for my friend's jumper in the end anyway)
and it just occured to me that i faced the Deputy head with a cats face drawn on me ;P Oh wellss XD

(Everyone was wearing Hoodies over their PE kits ANYWAYS, and finola had her bloody scarf and I WAS THE ONE that got called down! *mutter mutter*)

Dont comment on how SHIT i look
( that means: the crooked nose, the fact that my eyebrows look demented, that my nose looks horrendusly long, AND that i has wrinkles, well i dont but i do in there for some reason)

 

AND THEN- I WENT TO MSI, and it was just fucking amazing!!! Mmmkay so i can only remember half of it and i cba to describe- because theres just TOO much to say :P

 

Saturday: Shola's Party

LMFAO, okay i got kissed by some chav ( AND christy did too, he was so pissed) right so me and christy were just standing bored, and tlaking

and then the dude comes up and puts his arms around us and goes (Imagine a drunkness way of talking, yeah?)

Elliot: Helloo! Soo- whatss youur namee?

Christy: Christy

Me: Aleena

him: Well MY name is Elliot Georgiou (says in like, some fake posh accent and THEN he did the gay hand thing and i was liek XDXD)

and then after a while MORE of laughing and shit he was like

Him: Alllright then ladies i shall go now, and if you ever need anything (and then some more stuff i cnat remember)

and then he hugged us both and kissed our cheeks and then our hair XD AND I WAS LIKE almost on the GROUND laughing XDXD

(ive only got pics of IAMX and Robots in disguise from Msi and there on my camera, but i dint take any of msi cos i was too busy screaming and jumpink like a lunatic)

and i was gonna tell you bout TODAY

but i cant be botherd now :)

Bye bye

Aleena<3

Sunday:

Baaah i need to get down to 3 square meals a day

I KEEP ON BINGING

jesus.

then from three to two and then etc.

 

Breakfast: Glass of Water

Lunch: Green Apple + Bottle of Water (53 Cals)

Came home & Had: Green Tea+ No Sugar (5 cals)

Dinner: Spoon thingy- Full Of Rice + Potato & Cauliflower..thing  ( lets just say like.. 250 im guessing 0___0)

+ Soya sauce ( i cant eat rice without it, im a Salt-a-holic) (5 cals)

Binge: 2 biscuits + Black coffee+ Rivita Thing+ 6 apricots (203) Ho.Shit.

Total: 516

Eating Is the ONLY Thing in my Life i could have control over-

but that fucking biyatch stomach keeps on betraying me.

I'm Going to End Up Looking Like This

And then Proceed to turn Boys Gay -_-

 

Stolen Frm Branddyyyyy :D

Aleena<3

NOT FAIR

NOT NOT TNOT FAIR.

FUCK KARMA

WHAT THE HELL DID I DO NOW?

JESUSSSSS

WELL TECHNICLY...few weeks ago

my friend cant take me to A7x

then she went and SOLD THE FUCKING TICKETS- but it aint her fault at all, its her MUMS

gaaaaah why cant mums just DIE

DIE I TELL YOU

DIE.

no? alrighty then LIVE. *mumble mumble*

I WANTED TO BE ABLE TO SEE MY HEROS

scratch that-

i wanted to be able to see that no- they werent just figments of my warped fucking imagination

and that YES- they are amazing

i wanted to be able to hear the vibrations of Christ's bass amp in my HAIR

(stubborn fucker keeps his amp louder than Gates')

NOT THAT I WOULD KNOW

i havent fucking seen them -_-

it would have been 5 FUCKING DAYS FROM NOW

and not ONLY would i have the pleasure of Orgasming at Brians Guitar

BUT i wouldve been able to rock out to WITHIN TEMPTATION

and n Maiden

not exacty Slash & Co.

but still- legonds

BUT NOOOOOO

karma just had to fucking stick a fork in it.

A SHARP FUCKING FORK -_-

see wah i mean?
i liketh my life

I HATE ME.

Aleena<3

 

Paper Bag- Fiona Apple

I was staring at the sky
Just looking for a star
To pray on, or wish on
Or something like that

I was having a sweet fix
Of a daydream of a boy
Whose reality I knew
Was a hopeless to be had

But then the dove of hope began its downward slope
And I believed for a moment that my chances were
Approaching to be grabbed
But as it came down near, so did a weary tear
I thought it was a bird, but it was just a paper bag

Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love

And I went crazy again today, looking for a strand to climb
Looking for a little hope
Baby said he couldn't stay put, wouldn't put his lips to mine,
And a fail to kiss is a fail to cope

And I said, "Honey, I don't feel so good, don't feel justified
Come on put a little love here in my void"
He said, "It's all in your head"
And I said, "So's everything'" but he didn't get it
I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy

Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love

Hunger hurts, but I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold because these hands are just too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love

Oh hunger hurts, but I want him so bad, oh it kills
Because I know that I'm a mess that he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold because these hands are just too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving it works, when it costs too much to love

amazing song, dynamics are brilliant, the lyrics are really powerful too,

she did a cover of urm- Sallys song from Nbc the 3d version thingy :)

talking about TIm Burton- Sweeny todd, it RULES on HD :0 its amazingggg! baaah i want to cover this song with naz SO MUCH :0 but im not sure... Listen to it :)

Warrning: YA DNT HAVE TO READ IF YA DNT WANT TO- THIS IS JUST SO MY BRAIN CAN SAY "HA! I TOLD YOU YOU ATE TOO MUCH YA FAT BITCH" to my stomach. you'll see wah i mean

Mmmmmkay then,

well

ive found out my weight in lb's

and ill just tell you how much because- well i dont know i just will.

(as if you havent guessed my fat ness)

130 lbs.. :( my own fault tho.

..then i checked it against my height on this chart

-i'm overweight

more than i thought i was

i mean i thought i was fat ANYWAY- when your stomach hangs out like a 40 year old builder's does

then ya know whats wrong

didnt HIT me that badly tho till about a few days ago (i can hide my fatness with clothes if i try hard enough- i have a habit of sucking in my stomach...mabey- all the time?)

when i couldn't even fit into a fucking size 10 shirt without look like some...0__0 you dont want to know.

(size 12 Uk = Size 8 Us = 38 Europe)

..although i do have a 32 shirt from H&M

but its black and baggyish- REALLY tight though :0

 

ANYWAYS

i.am.using.buzznet.as.a.record.of.what.my.calorie.intake.is.

becuase OBVIOUSLY I HAVENT BEEN COUNTIN RIGHT

*headesk*

or mabey i'll use Lj? wait...scratch that- I cant even use fucking lj without having an aneurysm in my minute fucking brain -_-

yeahh sorry- descriptive moment :P its when the writer in me kicks in

ahh wait yeah

so

 

few glasses of Water =0 cals

Salady shit= 200 cals? roughly

Walked home for 30 mins= -125 cals from what ive eaten already

= 75 cals so far

Two Bowls of Fresh Pinnaple (courtesy of Mum which is why i am so horrifiedd) = 150 cals

2 Salty crackers..mmm :) = 68 cals

1 Tofu tortilla..thing with that green stuff= ermm lemme go check  lets say the tofu was around 60 + green stuff 50 + tomato stuff  lets say...50 (only about 2 table spoons) + actuall torilla thingy lets just round it up to 40 = 200 :0:0:0:0 FUCK

 

Whole days calories: 493

 

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT THATS ALMOST 500

AND ALL THAT SHIT WAS ROUNDED UP

SO MABEY IT WAS LIKE- OVER 500

*headesk*

right. im off to do some laps round the - oh shit its really really dark outside I IS NOT RUNNING IN THE DARK at 9 o clockage

i might..run over somehtin- well step over. no wait, STOMP over something and then hurt my foot

-nyeah well i cant EAT obvs, cos its now almost 9 and i cant eat after 8 cos tis bad for my digestive system- hmmm Tv and crunches... oooh yeah :) orrrrrrr...

RIGHT THEN

rephrase: going to go jog for an hour if i can in my room. and then if im not dying already Music channel + Crunches + skipping wth an imaginary skipping rope until i BUY a skipping rope :P

NOW

 

do you see wy i call myself fat- you should

B E C A U S E

i am. :)

hope that proved it too ya- i feel better letting all of this out

but i dont care if you cmmnt or not or even read it.

i has lost like..ONE kg though in like..WEEKS :0 (why cant it be like 100 kg?)

but yeah

 

(easier to messure things in pounds now acc)

Goals :)

[x] 130 lb's

[] 120 lb's

[] 110 lbs

[] *dreams* 100 lbs

[] *dreams harder*  91 lbs

 

*headesk*  i would KILL to be 91

so so so so so so badly :(

Aleena<3

 

 

 

 

 

see, somethings.

you dont know what your reactions gonna be, the people around you

-you dont know how your going to deal with it

until after it happens to you.

because everytings just..distant- i was making my dads bed, and i looked down on it

it was like i was some giant- everythings just really really small compared to me.

its...weird becuase im short.

because that person really is still here.

you dont know where theyll go, where they are

so you really cant say, that its better for them now.

what i do know, is that i cant see him crying..

i cant deal with it. i cant its just strange.

i just phoned my brother, and he came comferted him..a bit

while- i watched the cat in the garden, we match you know?

im wearing black, cat is black...yeah

but i cant deal- i dont do hugs. i dont do reassurance.

beacuse i dont know what happens now, after this. tommorow the next day

and the next. and the months to follow either

i dont know anything.

it doesnt mean im not a loving person

because i think i am.

i think

just not to people who are related to me unless theyre

huzair, or the cat.

not sure why im not caling the cat by its name

you know? in the garden i had a thought- the reason why

the cat doesnt like stuff, like he doesnt like me picking him up

is that, mabey he was a person? before this.

before he became a cat.

mabey thats were he's going,

mabey you have to be a certain rank to be a cat

i wonder what hed look like as a cat,

you know- like reincarnation?

i told you this before, i really dont know anything.

oh you know.

apart from the fact my uncle's dead,

i still dont know how i find time for sarcasm.

Aleena